If I asked you how often you feel a loss of control over your life and the course it's taken in different areas, what would you say? Are there people in your circle who have proclaimed themselves your adviser, conscience or crystal ball? May I ask what gives them that right? And furthermore, why are you giving them permission to create your reality? Or, does it have nothing to do with other people; you just lack the confidence to go after the life you really want?
This is your life... it's your turn. And the best news is, you can call the shots and take total control over your happiness and the outcome of your dreams and goals. Here's how...
1. Step Away From Yourself: Take a few minutes and sit still. Picture stepping outside yourself and looking at you from a total stranger's viewpoint. You know nothing about your fears, doubts, strengths, or skills. You are a blank canvas. Now give yourself a different name (this helps disassociate from you). Let's say it's "Denise". Denise is brand new. What would Denise like to see herself surrounded by? What career? What kind of house? Does she live by the mountains or the beach? Husband? Kids? What ring of friends would she like around her? What hobbies? Close your eyes and totally create your dream world as if this is the first day of your life on this planet and you can choose from a Cosmic catalogue everything you want to experience. Do you feel that surge of anticipation and joy? Pretty cool, huh? Now... here's the exciting part! That is exactly what you are capable of doing... right now. You create your reality!
2. Challenge Your Current Reality:We are all where we are right now based on what has come before. Yesterday does create today to some degree. The decisions and thoughts you made yesterday impact some actions, emotions and outcomes today. If you chose to take a cooking class and there is a homework assignment to create a Lemon Meringue Pie, I'm guessing choosing citrus and eggs are on your to-do list. If you chose a house in a certain price range, the mortgage payments you will be making for some time are the result of that decision. Can you change those results? Of course. You can quit the cooking class, or fly in the face of the assignment and show up with a Key Lime Pie. You can change the mortgage payments by moving to a different residence or take it on the road in an RV. The point is to take a close look at where you are today and how you got here. What decisions did you make that have shown up as your reality? What thoughts preceded those decisions? Every action, from lifting your hand to choosing a mate, had a thought that preceded it, even if for only a split second.
Here's an example: While in college you had two marriage proposals, one from Dave and one from Matt. You chose Matt. Matt went on to become a Sales Manager for a furniture store. His corporation moved you from Florida to Nebraska. You have 3 children, and own a cat, a dog and a pet goat named "Winnie." Vacations consist of trips to Yellowstone or Disneyland. You later hear that Dave (the one you passed on) is a surgeon in Boca Raton and has a villa in Italy, no children but a lovely wife and friends who go on yachting vacations twice a year throughout the Mediterranean. Two very different lives. See how your decision as to whom to marry impacted who and where you are today? Neither lifestyle is necessarily better... just very different. You can look back and see the course your life took based on your decisions. Actually, this should give you a feeling of power. No one is tossing you about like a boat without a rudder. You are where you are based on some very definite choices. The point is... you CHOSE! And you can choose now. YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS, AND HENCE, CHANGE YOUR REALITY! Dr. Wayne Dyer is famous for saying, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." THAT is reality!
3. Write Your Own Movie Script:You now know you can start with a clean canvas and create your life. Yes, you can! Some of it will take a little time. You have some results from previous thoughts and actions that have to be considered, such as a job, bills, health, and relationships. But, by starting now with your new view of the world, those things will begin to change. And suddenly you are standing in your new reality with a huge smile on your face and knowing you created it by taking back control over your life. Write down your new movie where you are the star, director and producer. You choose who your co-stars are, in which location you will be shooting, and what budget you are setting for yourself. Isn't this fun? No one else calling the shots, telling you where to stand, what to say, how to act. It's all yours. Pick a soundtrack that makes your heart soar.
4. Lose the Anchors:Do you know what an anchor is? It's a dead weight that keeps the boat from moving. If there are people in your life who have decided their role is to keep you from your dreams by shooting them down or second-guessing your decisions... lose them. They are anchors keeping you from moving forward. If it's family members hanging onto your ankles like a ball and chain, "losing them" simply means to smile with confidence and say, "Thank you for your opinion. I will consider it and see if it fits with mine. If not, please feel free to use it in your own life." Then call your own shots. There is no reason to fear these people or their reactions. No one made them a Deity with omnipotent power and foresight. They are a flawed human like the rest of us... they have strengths and weaknesses. Most people who feel the need to impose their opinion on someone else suffer from a low self-esteem. People with a high level of self-esteem always encourage others to go for it! Remember that! Stop giving someone else power over you.
This is your life. It's your show. You decide how it unfolds. You do not have to stay in an unhappy situation because of past decisions. You can change it, and you can begin right now.
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